I hope rick santorum is doing an art project with water proof mod podge and it gets in his hair and he doesn’t realize until after it has dried.

I hope Rick Santorum has to buy all of his own drinks on his 21st birthday. 

I hope Rick Santorum tries to make his hair look like Romney’s and fails.

I hope Lil B doesn’t want to be Rick Santorum’s friend.

I hope Rick Santorum gets offered some food, so he takes it gratefully, but once he takes a bite, he realizes that it’s the most disgusting thing he’s ever eaten. It’s so disgusting that he can’t even swallow it without gagging, and he doesn’t want to offend the person who offered it to him, so he just sits there with it in his mouth until he can’t take it anymore, and then, when he tries to discreetly spit it out in a napkin, the person notices and he has to just sit there, awkwardly.

I hope Rick Santorum gets stuck in Rock Bottom and no one understands his accent.

I hope Rick Santorum goes to see The Dark Knight Rises and the theater is literally full of little kids texting.

I hope Rick Santorum gets out of the car to check and man door hand hook car door.

I hope Rick Santorum makes a facebook status he really likes and gets good comments on, but then someone he doesn’t like comments on it and it ruins the whole status for it.

I hope Rick Santorum is unable to do the Scarn.

I hope Rick Santorum buys one of the new Furbies, but eventually gets disturbed by it, so he takes out the batteries. But one night it suddenly starts working because one of his kids put the batteries back in and he suffers from extreme paranoia.

I hope Rick Santorum goes to pull a loose thread out of his sock while he’s wearing it, and it hurts because it’s actually a hair poking through.

I hope a few of the “I hope Rick Santorum”s actually DO happen to Rick, and when he complains about it on FML, his FML either gets a) rejected, b) voted so negatively that it is sent to the bottom of the list, so nobody sees it, or c) becomes the most popular “you deserved it.”

I hope Rick Santorum gets gas and then realizes the gas station next door is 15 cents cheaper.

I hope Rick Santorum starts a submissions blog and nobody submits.