tastefullyoffensive:

Politics

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I hope Rick Santorum tells a hilarious joke but only Obama hears it and when he tells it everybody laughs.

I hope that for the next week Rick Santorum keeps getting in awkward and hard to explain situations and is always saying “This isn’t what it looks like,” and then it haunts him, for the rest of his life because his friends joke about it.

Comment of the year.

And that’s how Bugs Bunny ended the zombie apocalypse.

I hope when Rick Santorum checks out a library book he forgets about it for months and racks up a huge library fine.

Hipster cannibal

ihopericksantorum:

5/16: McArthur High School HazMat Situation
Students, Teachers Decontaminated After Breaking Out In Rash
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/16/mcarthur-high-school-contamination_n_1521764.html

5/19: No confirmation on chemical at Fort Lauderdale International Airport
http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/terminal-2-evacuated-at-fort-lauderdale-airport-in-hazmat-scare

5/21: Police: Man bites woman in Westchester http://www.mysuburbanlife.com/westchester/newsnow/x639948018/Police-Man-bites-woman-in-Westchester

5/23: I-285 reopens after hazmat incident
http://www.wesh.com/r/31112110/detail.html

5/23: Man Bites Cousin’s Nose Off
http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/local/Man-Bites-Cousins-Nose-Off-153100125.html

5/24: Second Broward school reports mystery rash http://www.miamiherald.com/2012/05/24/2815003/second-broward-school-reports.html

5/25: Hazmat Called After Kids Exposed To Pesticide On Bus: Hazmat, EMS Respond To Lake County, FL School
http://www.wesh.com/r/31112110/detail.html

5/25: ‘Disoriented’ passenger subdued on flight in Miami http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/05/25/passenger-restrained-on-flight-to-miami-arrested/

5/26: Naked Man Allegedly Eating Victim’s Face Shot And Killed By Miami Police
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/26/naked-man-eating-victims-face-killed-miami_n_1548359.html

5/26: Florida Doctor Spits Blood at Highway Patrolmen After DUI Arrest http://abcnews.go.com/US/florida-doctor-spits-blood-troopers-face-dui-arrest/story?id=16436402

All in same week and same state…. may God be with you Florida.

I hope whenever someone farts everyone just assumes it’s Rick Santorum.

Until we get verified DNA tests proving that Mitt Romney is not a unicorn, I refuse to believe that he is a viable candidate for the position as the leader of the free world.

I hope Rick Santorum gets his ringtone changed to the Unsolved Mysteries theme whenever he isn’t looking, so whenever his phone rings next he’s afraid to answer it.

I think that after the recent incident in Florida, it is safe to say that the Zombie Apocalypse is near.

http://gawker.com/5914059/grab-your-boomstick-the-zombie-apocalypse-may-actually-be-upon-us

But as Tumblr blogger “I Hope Rick Santorum” helpfully points out in an appropriately viral post, this latest incident is not so much a warning shot as it is another in a disconcertingly intensifying stream of zombie-invoking headlines — all from the past two weeks, and all from the Sunshine State.

Neat! Everyone be sure to link that article to your friends on FB!

I hope Rick Santorum gets one of these after wanting one forever and then keeps crossing his arms the wrong way and his friends always laugh at him.