I Hope Rick Santorum

I hope Rick Santorum says “I don’t understand that reference” when he doesn’t understand a reference but no one understands that reference

I hope rick santorum’s favorite celebrity is Nicholas Cage 

i hope rick santorum reference a meme but no one gets the reference.

I hope Rick Santorum reads too many tumblr creepypastas before going to bed and as a result, can’t fall asleep. 

Ah herp Rerck Serntererm terlks lerk the “Ermahgerd” merme erll dey ernd thern he cern’t sterp.

I hope when Rick Santorum pretends the floor is lava, it actually IS lava and he loses all of his furniture.

I hope Rick Santorum tries to trash talk Roger Federer but uses “loose” instead of “lose.”

i hope rick santorum goes swimming and can’t get the water out of his ears afterwards.

I hope Rick Santorum starts a sentence but can’t remember what he was going to say so he just stops awkwardly in the

I hope Rick Santorum ends a sentence in a preposition and gets a ton of crap about it.

I hope all of Rick Santorum’s closest friends and family find out about this blog, but they don’t tell him about it, so he can’t figure out what they’re all giggling about.

I hope Rick Santorum gets exiled to the Walmart in Kodiak, Alaska.

I hope Rick Santorum loses a bet and has to sniff baby wipes for the rest of his life. 

I hope Rick Santorum comes up with a killer comeback 4 hours after he get’s insulted.

I hope Rick Santorum’s crush goes out with the person he hates and they’re really happy together and he just angrily watches them from afar.

I hope Rick Santorum makes an embarrassing typo in his Tumblr URL but can’t figure out how to change it.

wordsrevisited:

Why did Mitt Romney cross the road?

He said he wouldn’t!

I hope Rick Santorum makes a really great text post and it only gets 2 likes.

I hope Rick Santorum takes a “Which Sherlock Character are You?” quiz and turns out to be anderson.

I hope Rick Santorum joins a band and writes a tearful song about his embarrassing high school heartbreak while he’s drunk, and the band records it and it becomes the only single and the girl finds out and sues him for slander of character because he used her name in the song, and so he doesn’t even make any money off of it.

I hope Rick Santorum is going to put the disc into his Gamecube and accidentally hits the lens.

I hope that Rick Santorum is 1 kill away from getting a M.O.A.B. in Modern Warfare 3, then the server connection times out and he gets kicked from the game.

I hope Rick Santorum tries to download a gay dating app, but it turns out it’s just for coffee.

I hope Rick Santorum pays five dollars to pin his posts to the top of his follower’s dashboards, and then goes to CVS and realizes he doesn’t have enough money to buy chocolate

i hope rick santorum writes a really long tag but makes a typo at the end so he had to write the whole tag out again

I hope Rick Santorum falls for the Homestuck anime joke and looks stupid in front of all his friends.

I hope Rick Santorum is at band camp and forgets his drill chart on a night drill checks are done and he has to do push-ups.

I hope Rick Santorum’s mother was a hamster and his father smelt of elderberries.

I hope Rick Santorum accidentally leaves a pen in his new shirt the first time he washes it and when he goes to the store to replace it, they don’t have his size anymore.

I hope Rick Santorum tries to favorite a post but his mouse slips and he accidentally hits the unfollow button.

I hope Rick Santorum finally finds Mew in Pokemon Red but makes it faint in one hit.

i hope rick santorum spends $5 to pin a post to his followers dashboard, just for it to be ignored.

I hope Rick Santorum misspells “Daleks.”

I hope rick santorum is fighting the dalaks and gets sucked into another world and now can never come back

I hope Rick Santorum needs to change lanes on the highway but nobody will let him in and he misses his exit.

I hope Rick Santorum accidently calls his teacher ‘mom.’

I hope that Rick Santorum and his BFF are secretly even bigger frenemies than Beyonce and Kim Kardashian.

I hope Rick Santorum does not make a new friend named Carlos. Ever.

I made a new friend today and his name is Carlos

I hope Rick Santorum downloads an app to find gay hookups, but he thinks that something’s wrong with it because it keeps just taking him to Starbuck’s, but that’s actually where all the gay hookups are. 

I hope Rick Santorum gets swimmer’s ear in the shower.

I hope Rick Santorum stays up really late studying and he’s really tired in the morning so he accidentally brushes his teeth with Neosporin instead of toothpaste. 

I hope Rick Santorum follows someone who pays five dollars to pin their posts to the top of their followers’ dashboards, so Rick thinks his dash is dead for like five hours

I hope Rick Santorum has ALMOST enough milk for his cereal.

I hope Rick Santorum tries to participate in his friends’ conversation about the Higgs boson but doesn’t know anything about it and ends up sounding like an idiot.