I Hope Rick Santorum

I hope Rick Santorum doesn’t want to celebrate the Fourth of July but his neighbors have a giant barbecue and set off fireworks and it keeps him up all night.

I hope Rick Santorum is always the first accused of stealing cookies from the cookie jar when it was obviously his older sibling.

I hope Rick Santorum tries to buy something from a vending machine but it gets stuck in the metal coil and he ends up paying twice as much for it.

I hope Rick Santorum make an awesome character for a DnD campaign, that has the possiblity to break the system, but whenever he tries to roll for any of these awesome moves, he always gets a natural 1.

I hope Rick Santorum is getting an icee at Target, but he overfills it  and it spills all over the counter and the employees all give him the death stare. 

I hope Rick Santorum is playing dreidel with his friends, but he only gets shin.

i hope rick santorum left his almost full pack of cigarettes at home and he realizes that when he’s too far from home to come back and pick it up and he has to buy another one

I hope Rick Santorum rolls a 1 on the only heroic tier he needs for his 4 pc.

I hope that on a really hot day, Rick Santorum thinks “I just want to go home and sit in the air conditioning”, but when he gets home it’s not working.

I hope Rick Santorum finds a band he really likes, but their albums aren’t being sold anymore and he has to resort to low-quality bootleg tracks from Russian music sites

I hope when Rick Santorum sharpens his pencils, the lead breaks off and gets stuck in the sharpener so he has to dig it out with his fingernail and walk around with some of the pencil lead stuck under his fingernail for the rest of the day no matter how many times he washes his hands.

ihopericksantorum:

I hope Rick Santorum becomes a victim of mpreg

I Hope Rick Santorum gets Ignition (Remix) stuck in his head by R.Kelly as you’re about to right now because it’s the remix to ignition hoppin’ fresh out the kitchen, mama rollin’ that body got every man in here wishin’.

I hope Rick Santorum’s mom sees inappropriate photos on his dash every time she walks in while he’s on Tumblr.

i hope rick santorum uses his real name on club penguin and is banned from it for life.

I hope Rick Santorum reads Fifty Shades Of Grey and likes it

I Hope Rick Santorum temporarily has a new owner managing the original owner’s account. Any questions, comments or concerns feel free to send them here. Thanks! Keep sending in submissions.

I hope Rick Santorum talks about Fight Club and gets a ton of shit for it.

I hope Rick Santorum’s M&Ms spill all over the floor and he has to pick them up by hand.

I hope Rick Santorum’s Neopets account gets frozen for no reason.

Firstly, I hope Rick Santorum is initiated into a secret society whose members are given copies of Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, and one of the laws is that no member can willingly delete their save data (the punishment for which would be ejection from the club). Secondly, I hope Rick Santorum gets drunk one night and breaks this vow, deleting his save data. Thirdly, I hope Rick Santorum wakes up the next morning and finds the preliminary personality quiz has determined that he is a Pokemon with horrible defense, and he has named his partner something stupid. Fourthly, I hope that Rick Santorum has to stay up all night playing just to get to the point in the game he was at before deleting his save data to cover up his mistake so nobody finds out, and has to put up with frequently dying and seeing his partner’s stupid name as a reminder of his actions. Finally, I hope another member of the club finds out and Rick Santorum gets ejected anyway, even though he really had fun.

i hope every time rick santorum tries to apply his winged eyeliner, it’s never even 

i hope Rick Santorum writes a really deep status on Facebook and nobody likes it 

I hope Rick Santorum tries to meet his favorite celebrity but then is harshly denied an autograph and a photo 

I hope Rick Santorum buys something really cool on Amazon, but accidentally sends it to his old address and the people there don’t give it back.

I hope Rick Santorum wears socks that keep falling into his shoes on a 7 mile hike.

I hope Rick Santorum doesn’t uncheck auto-renewal on his one month free trial of Amazon Prime.

I hope Rick Santorum makes a Call Me Maybe video, but it only gets two views.

I hope Rick Santorum makes a Tumblr saying that he’s 13 years old and proceeds to get a lot of hate about it.

I hope Rick Santorum doesn’t have enough loose change to buy anything from the McDonald’s loose change menu.

I hope Rick Santorum is around during one of those What Would You Do skits and he acts like a total ass, so when they air the episode, they have to block out his face.

I hope Rick Santorum spends a lot of money hiring Ryan Gosling as his getaway driver but he takes longer than 5 minutes so Ryan ditches him.

codelens:

Can Google Predict the Impact of Racism on a Presidential Election?

This article discusses the results of a new study that investigates how Racism (White Supremacy) may impact the upcoming presidential election.  Below is a quote from the study excerpted in the article:

The most common searches including the epithet (such as “nigger jokes” and “I hate niggers”) return websites with derogatory material about African-Americans. The top hits for the top racially charged searches are nearly all textbook examples of antilocution, a majority group’s sharing stereotype-based jokes using coarse language outside a minority group’s presence. This was determined as the first and crucial stage of prejudice in Allport’s (1979) classic treatise. From 2004-2007, the searches were most popular in West Virginia; upstate New York; rural Illinois; eastern Ohio; southern Mississippi; western Pennsylvania; and southern Oklahoma.

…

The results imply that, relative to the most racially tolerant areas in the United States, prejudice cost Obama between 3.1 percentage points and 5.0 percentage points of the national popular vote. This implies racial animus gave Obama’s opponent roughly the equivalent of a home-state advantage country-wide.

I hope Rick Santorum follows a bunch of fandom blogs for his favorite TV show, but when he doesn’t watch the new episode on time he reads all of the spoilers, so he goes to complain but instead gets blamed for not getting Tumblr Savior.

I hope Rick Santorum orders some Dr. Pepper at a restaurant, but when he tastes it he realizes it’s actually Mr. Pibb. 

I hope Rick Santorum accidentally syncs his Tumblr with his Facebook.

I hope Rick Santorum had absolutely no chance of getting away with it, even if it weren’t for those meddling kids. 

I hope Rick Santorum goes to donate blood and gets a nervous intern. 

I hope Rick Santorum is craving seedless grapes, buys some, and upon biting into the first one, discovers that they have seeds.

I hope Rick Santorum tries to get drunk off of hand sanitizer to calm his nerves before giving a public speech but just gets diarrhea instead.

If you guys could tell your friends about this blog it would be great. It’s a blog based on dogs, nothing more and nothing less.  It’s starting off a little slower than I had generally expected, so any sort of word of mouth promotion would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

i hope rick santorum watches porn but he accidentally clicks share on facebook

I hope Rick Santorum sees that his hand sanitizer only eradicates 99.9% of the germs and spends his whole day worrying about the remaining 0.01%.

I hope Rick Santorum goes in for a high five, but the other person doesn’t notice so he just stands there awkwardly in front of everyone.

I hope Rick Santorum goes on a camping trip with his friends and spends half an hour trying unsuccessfully to start the fire, and, when he finally gives up, one of his friends will start the fire perfectly on the first try.