June 2012
259 posts
i hope rick santorum watches porn but he accidentally clicks share on facebook
I hope Rick Santorum sees that his hand sanitizer only eradicates 99.9% of the germs and spends his whole day worrying about the remaining 0.01%.
I hope Rick Santorum goes in for a high five, but the other person doesn’t notice so he just stands there awkwardly in front of everyone.
I hope Rick Santorum goes on a camping trip with his friends and spends half an hour trying unsuccessfully to start the fire, and, when he finally gives up, one of his friends will start the fire perfectly on the first try.
1 tag
I hope Rick Santorum gets a mosquito bite on his face and it just looks like a huge zit
I hope Rick Santorum is an 8th horcrux Voldemort didn’t plan on making, and Harry has to try and get rid of him.
I hope Rick Santorum slut-shames the entire human race by telling them that their boobs go inside their shirts only to cause a massive Tumblr retaliation.
i hope rick santorum doesnt know that his boobs go in his shirt.
I hope Rick Santorum watches the season finale of The Legend of Korra then ends up regretting watching the show and breaks down crying.
I hope Rick Santorum goes into the bathroom with his newspaper to take a nice long poop and right when he’s getting started someone knocks on the door and says they have to pee.
I hope Rick Santorum downloads the series of Boy Meets World and he goes to play his favorite episode and it plays but the sound doesn’t work.
I hope Rick Santorum gets sick from the remaining 0.01% of germs.
I hope Rick Santorum says “Dead mow-five” and everyone thinks he’s stupid.
I hope Rick Santorum gets a blister on his heel 3 miles into a 14 mile hike.
I hope Rick Santorum forgets where he parked his car at the mall, and by the time he remembers, it’s all the way on the other side of where he is looking.
I hope Rick Santorum watches an episode of Mythbusters but none of their experiments end with satisfying explosions.
I hope Rick Santorum pronounces ‘Gotye’ incorrectly and everyone laughs at him.
I hope Rick Santorum shouts, “RED ROBIN” and nobody says, “YUM!”
I hope Rick Santorum doesn’t make it home in time to watch his favorite show on TV.
