May 2012
196 posts
I hope Rick Santorum’s cookie is too big to fit in the glass of milk so he has to eat a little of it before he can dunk it.
I hope Rick Santorum finds a really big spider in his shower and is too scared to step in there.
I hope Rick Santorum starts enjoying a bottle of his favorite Diet drink, only to realize halfway through drinking it that he picked up the full calorie version, not the Diet version.
I hope Rick Santorum’s favorite memes get overused and spammed into oblivion until he can’t stand to see them anymore. Then I hope that they make a comeback a year later and everyone else has lots of fun spamming them while he still can’t stand them.
I hope that no one ever clicks “read more” on Rick Santorum’s feels posts.
I hope Rick Santorum doesn’t get invited to any Memorial Day parties
I hope Rick Santorum is eating a jam donut with his shirt off, and when he bites into the donut, the jam squirts out all over his chest and then everybody laughs at him and then he has to face the mild discomfort of a sticky chest, and the slight inconvenience of having to go and wash the jam off of his chest.
I hope Rick Santorum accidentally insults Chuck Norris and immediately apologizes only to realize that Chuck always accepts apologies with roundhouse kicks.
I hope Rick Santorum can never grab someone sexy and tell them ‘hey.’
I hope Rick Santorum is playing Halo and no one believes he’s not a 7 year old girl.
I hope Rick Santorum doesn’t wear green all week, but then on the one day he is supposed to not wear green, he does.
I hope in every awkward situation, Rick Santorum is “that guy”.
I hope the next time Rick Santorum is eating an oreo, he leaves it in the milk a little too long and has to watch it break and sink to the bottom of the cup.
i hope rick santorum is really excited to eat the first m&m in his bag of peanut m&ms and there is no peanut in it.
I hope every couple on Rick Santorum’s favourite TV show kiss except his OTP.
South Korea to chemically castrate repeat child... →
South Korea will chemically castrate a repeat sex offender who raped children in the country’s first use of a recently implemented law.
I hope Rick Santorum has a crush on a girl and she asks him to help her pick out some lingerie for a date, and so he helps her out, thinking she means the date and lingerie will be for him, but it’s for someone else instead.
I hope Rick Santorum steps out of the shower only to realize that he still has soap on his toes.
I hope Rick Santorum is the weakest person in his marching band, but ends up having to march with the biggest, heaviest bass drum and is sore for days afterward.
I hope Rick Santorum glues a poster on his wall, and when it was time to take off the poster, the paint of his wall came off.
