I hope Rick Santorum steals a balloon on “Free Ballon Day”.
I hope Rick Santorum wakes up in the middle of the night and hears his dog whining to go out but he doesn’t think anything of it, and then when he wakes up he discovers that his dog pooped on his bed because it couldn’t go outside.
I hope Rick Santorum falls asleep in his spanish class and the kid next to him wakes him up, and jolts him awake, causing him to scream while the teacher is in the middle of a lesson then he has to do the awkward walk of shame to the office.
i hope rick santorum finally has time to play Diablo III only to get error 37 every time he tries to play.
I hope Rick Santorum draws a really good circle but then Squidward tells him it was bad and from that day on he can’t draw a good circle ever again.
I hope Rick Santorum sniffs a flower and inhales a bee.
pamperedmoose asked: in an episode of veronica mars, someone at her high school blackmails and outs a group of gay kids. the pseudonym the asshole uses? rick santorum. i fucking kid you not. the episode came out in 2004.
I hope Rick Santorum scores a 1 on his World History AP Exam. It’s funny because I’m sure he actually would.
I hope that Rick Santorum gets put into Slytherin even though he asked the Sorting Hat not to.
I hope Rick Santorum tries to conquer the world but gets beaten up by the Hulk.
I hope Rick Santorum is giving a speech and the fire alarm goes off, but he tells everyone to stay calm and seated because there’s no fire. But the fire marshal tells everyone there IS a fire and he gets fined for telling everyone not to evacuate.
I hope half of Rick Santorum’s followers are on tumblrdatinggame(.)com
I hope Rick Santorum loses his DVD of The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride, and has to watch it online with really slow internet.
I hope Rick Santorum has to listen to Patrick’s real parents saying “where’s Patrick?” all day.
I hope Rick Santorum accidentally changes his relationship status on facebook to “in a relationship”, but he isn’t so he has to change it back to “single” and everyone comments and likes the status, so he has to explain that it was an accident and he was never in a relationship.
I hope Rick Santorum gets all comfortable in bed only to realize he has to pee.
I hope Rick Santorum is hanging out at a fight club late at night, when a strong urge to sing the Goofy Goober theme song overcomes him.