I hope Rick Santorum goes into Fluttershy’s shed.
I hope Rick Santorum forgets to update his GPS before a road trip and it directs him to roads that don’t exist.
I hope Rick Santorum saves the reddest strawberry for last, thinking it’ll be the best, but it ends up being mushy and gross and he’s stuck with gross strawberry taste in his mouth.
I hope Rick Santorum is just getting around to watching American Horror Story and his roommate walks in and immediately spoils who is in the latex suit.
I hope Rick Santorum gets a letter on Pottermore saying that he is not magical.
I hope Rick Santorum goes on vacation and forgets his good shampoo so he has to use the hotel shampoo in packets that makes his hair feel weird.
I hope Rick Santorum waits 30 minutes to catch a bus on an unfamiliar route, then realises he caught it going the wrong way.
I hope Rick Santorum goes to wash his face in the morning and thinks he’s using a fresh washcloth, but it turns out that it’s old and musty and he has to go through the entire day with that awful musty washcloth smell in his nose.
I hope Rick Santorum is the first girl to go home on America’s Next Top Model.
I hope Rick Santorum goes to Tim Hortons in Canada and asks for a large, not knowing that they increased the sizes and he has to drink more coffee than he wanted.
i hope rick santorum is scrolling through his dash while lying down in his bed and he loses grip of his phone and it hits him in the face
I hope Rick Santorum sees this and realises that even Australia thinks he’s stupid.
I hope Rick Santorum’s friends give him beer and he acts like he’s wasted but he finds out the next day that it was non-alcoholic and they were all secretly laughing at him.
I hope Rick Santorum gets some nice new headphones, and he wears them around wherever he goes, but the wire keeps getting caught on everything.
I hope Rick Santorum thinks that he can’t remember his password on his iTunes account so has to change it, but he actually just typed it in wrong in the first place.
I hope one of Rick Santorums facebook friends posts a status with lyrics to a song he likes, so he comments on it with the next line in the song. But when he listens to the song he realizes he wrote the wrong line and he feels really insecure.
I hope Rick Santorum cuts all of his nails off and then has the itchiest scalp he’s ever had all day.
I hope Rick Santorum meets his favorite celebrity and then when he wants to take a picture with them, his camera dies right before and he doesn’t have any more batteries with him.
I hope Rick Santorum spends all day planting seeds on his farm in Farmville, but then forgets to harvest and has to delete all of his wilted crop.
I hope Rick Santorum starts playing RuneScape and meets someone who says they can help him on a quest, but really ends up leading him into the Wilderness to kill him and take his gp.
I hope Rick Santorum orders Pad Thai and specifically asks for no eggs, but they misunderstand him and give him extra eggs instead.
I hope Rick Santorum buys an iPad but none of his favourite iPhone apps have iPad versions
I hope Rick Santorum’s bubble wrap never makes a popping noise when he plays with it.
I hope Rick Santorum actually finds Carmen Sandiego but no one believes him.
I hope Rick Santorum gets really excited about buying a new game and buys it, but when he gets home he finds out he bought an empty case and the store doesn’t believe that there was no game in it.
I hope Rick Santorum bites into a Gusher and there’s no juice inside it.
I hope Rick Santorum finds a really great writer on FF.net and reads all their stories and follows their tumblr and is really obsessed with them. Then I hope he gets up the courage to message them, and just as he sends the message, he realizes he made a huge typo that makes him look like an idiot and they don’t respond because he IS an idiot.
I hope Rick Santorum creates an awesome Powerpoint presentation for school, but when he brings it in, the font he chose isn’t compatible with his teacher’s outdated version of Microsoft Office and his entire presentation is now in Comic Sans.
I hope Rick Santorum is mindlessly listening to his iPod and ends up singing in the airport when the song “Blow” by Ke$ha comes on, and he ends up getting tackled by airport security.
I hope Rick Santorum finds a really great blogspot that’s uploaded loads of albums that he likes but has never seen in the shops, but then when he clicks on the download links he finds that they were all on megaupload.
I hope Rick Santorum is playing Team Fortress 2 and the enemy Spy always targets him whenever he respawns.
I hope Rick Santorum is taking notes on his laptop in class but open a different tab to surf the net at the same time and an ad starts playing music on the page and his volume is up all the way so everyone laughs at him the professor gives me the stink eye.
i hope rick santorum tries to talk to the cute girl at a party but ends up telling her the history of pac-man
I hope Rick Santorum’s parents continually tell him what he should spend his own hard-earned money on.
I hope Rick Santorum peels an orange right after he’s cut his fingernails too short.
I hope Rick Santorum bought high-waisted shorts before they were cool but he was too insecure to wear them and now he can’t get credit for being a trend-setter.
I hope Rick Santorum’s owner tells him to wait outside of the pizza shop while he makes a delivery, but his owner travels to the future and never comes back for Rick.
I hope Rick Santorum was supposed to read The Hunger Games for his book club but didn’t have time to so he saw the movie instead and when they had a group discussion, he looked like an idiot.
I hope Rick Santorum tries to illegally download music from beemp3 but can’t do the simple math required for the captcha
I hope Rick Santorum is about to select a word worth three coins in Draw Something, but accidentally hits the bomb for new words and he can’t draw any of them.
I hope Rick Santorum finds a four-leaf clover in a clover patch but a rabbit eats it before he can get to it.
I hope Rick Santorum goes to see the Hunger Games with his obsessed group of friends, and they ruin it for him by freaking out in the theatre over the plot points that are messed up.
I hope Rick Santorum has a really good day with a bunch of his friends, but then once he goes home, he starts wondering if they were legitimately making fun of him when they said “JK” after saying something mean so he stays up until 2AM worrying about whether or not they secretly hate him.
i hope rick santorum goes to the avengers premiere just to see benedict cumberbatch and it turns out he didn’t show up
I hope Rick Santorum’s marinara sauce never clings to his pasta.
I hope that rick santorum invites his parents over to dinner at his new apartment, but just as they’re sitting down to eat the couple next door starts having really loud sex.
I hope Rick Santorum gets stuck in a bean-bag and has to awkwardly roll out of it.