June 2012
259 posts
ihopericksantorum:
I hope Rick Santorum needs to call the bank and is put on hold for over 45 minutes (but only has 35 left on his Tracfone.)
2 tags
Watchihopericksantorum:
I puked on the pizza
I hope Rick Santorum’s favorite band goes on indefinite hiatus a few months before he really gets into their music, and he never gets to see them in concert and can’t find any of their merch.
i hope rick santorum tries to correct the did-yuo-kno blog posts.
I hope Rick Santorum goes on tumblrdatinggame(.)com because all of his friends are.
I hope Rick Santorum goes outside to tour around Historic Not-in-Front-of-My-Computer while Strongbad pours Mountain Dew on his computer.
I hope Rick Santorum gets really excited for a One Direction concert, he has the tickets, merchandise and all but then only to find out that it was canceled due to one of the members having a slight cold.
Pistachios
I hope Rick Santorum is eating pistachios, and every time he reaches into the bag, he pulls out the one with the sealed-over shell.
I hope Rick Santorum tries hard not to get toothpaste in the sink, and when carefully applying toothpaste to his toothbrush, it falls in the sink.
i hope rick santorum is eating a nature valley granola bar in bed and spills the crumbs everywhere.
I hope Rick Santorum notices a mosquito bite on his arm and feels obligated to scratch it even though it doesn’t itch. Then realizes scratching made it itchier and now he can’t stop.
I hope Rick Santorum waits three weeks for his SAT results and stays up until midnight on the CollegeBoard website only to see that they’ll be “available soon.”
i hope rick santorum always misses a one direction twitcam and when there are two in one week he still manages to miss them because he’s sleeping even though he’s finally in the same time zone
I hope Rick Santorum pours himself a bowl of cereal but the milk isn’t cold enough and he can’t do anything about it because the cereal is already beginning to get soggy.
I hope Rick Santorum misses the colander when cooking his next pot of spaghetti.
I hope Rick Santorum had a Millsberry account that he’d played on for years, but had to stop using because he forgot about it for a year, and then when he came back to play on it he finds out they closed because no one was using it anymore.
i hope rick santorum can’t sleep one night and finds himself unable to stop thinking about the scientific logistics of the human centipede.
I hope Rick Santorum thinks he’s going to win Monopoly, but then lands on the Boardwalk with a hotel on it and has to mortgage all his properties.
