April 2012
318 posts
I hope Rick Santorum wants a glass of milk but when he goes to take the carton out of the fridge he finds out that somebody put it back in empty.
I hope Rick Santorum takes a bite out of a chocolate chip cookie only to discover that it’s a raisin cookie.
I hope none of Rick Santorum’s friends play Words With Friends so he has to play with the zyngawfs.
I hope Rick Santorum spends an hour and a half at work coming up with a clever post for ihopericksantorum.tumblr.com but it is kind of mean-spirited so the moderator doesn’t publish it.
I hope Rick Santorum waits all week to buy white turnips but on Sunday his Mom makes him go to church and when he gets back he can’t find Joan anywhere.
I hope Rick Santorum’s friends don’t like his new url and are angry at him for changing it.
I hope Rick Santorum goes into Fluttershy’s shed.
I hope Rick Santorum forgets to update his GPS before a road trip and it directs him to roads that don’t exist.
I hope Rick Santorum saves the reddest strawberry for last, thinking it’ll be the best, but it ends up being mushy and gross and he’s stuck with gross strawberry taste in his mouth.
American Horror Story
I hope Rick Santorum is just getting around to watching American Horror Story and his roommate walks in and immediately spoils who is in the latex suit.
I hope Rick Santorum gets a letter on Pottermore saying that he is not magical.
I hope Rick Santorum goes on vacation and forgets his good shampoo so he has to use the hotel shampoo in packets that makes his hair feel weird.
I hope Rick Santorum waits 30 minutes to catch a bus on an unfamiliar route, then realises he caught it going the wrong way.
I hope Rick Santorum goes to wash his face in the morning and thinks he’s using a fresh washcloth, but it turns out that it’s old and musty and he has to go through the entire day with that awful musty washcloth smell in his nose.
I hope Rick Santorum is the first girl to go home on America’s Next Top Model.
I hope Rick Santorum goes to Tim Hortons in Canada and asks for a large, not knowing that they increased the sizes and he has to drink more coffee than he wanted.
i hope rick santorum is scrolling through his dash while lying down in his bed and he loses grip of his phone and it hits him in the face
I hope Rick Santorum sees this and realises that even Australia thinks he’s stupid.
1 tag
I hope Rick Santorum’s friends give him beer and he acts like he’s wasted but he finds out the next day that it was non-alcoholic and they were all secretly laughing at him.
3 tags
