April 2012
318 posts
6 tags
I hope Rick Santorum goes to drink a Capri Sun, but when he pokes the straw in, it goes through the other side.
I hope Rick Santorum is watching a nice friendly movie and his parents walk in and it turns into a sex scene.
3 tags
Anonymous asked: Is it bad that every time I see the news come on tv, I'm hoping that they are announcing the assassination of Rick Santorum? Because I do that every day.
10 tags
I hope Rick Santorum actually wins the 2012 election, only to find that Obama’s final act as president was hiring Victor Baxter as head chef, so Rick will have to put up with the crazy antics of Cory Baxter and friends.
Let’s see how he likes Cory in his house.
I hope Rick Santorum starts a revolutionary website with Mark Zuckerberg, and then gets pushed out of the company.
losingmyselfintheprocessdeactiv asked: Where is that video/the link to the video of Rick supposedly stumbling on 'negotiator'?
4 tags
3 tags
I hope rick santorum is pooping, and every time he wipes he just cannot get it clean for hours
i hope rick santorum has a snack because he’s a little hungry, but the snack makes him very hungry.
Accidental matching clothes
I hope Rick Santorum’s best friend has the same shirt as him and one day they both wear it by accident and everyone thinks they planned it and it’s really awkward.
March 2012
1,638 posts
I hope Rick Santorum gets told by Destiny’s Child that he is indeed not ready for that jelly.
10 tags
tiny-pharmaceuticals asked: I think you have the best blog on tumblr. ever. just saying.
I hope Rick Santorum goes all day without realizing his shirt is on inside out. (Everybody else notices.)
I hope Rick Santorum’s sister gets nailed by Kelso.
I hope Rick Santorum sits down to study for a test but gets distracted on Tumblr instead.
I hope Rick wants to go see The Lorax but all of his friends are calling it a conspiracy movie against big corporations and he has to go see it by himself.
6 tags
4 tags
I hope Rick Santorum gets called a Baggot because his head is a plastic bag.
not america's funniest home video
i hope someone hits rick santorum in the nuts with a baseball while someone is filming. i hope the tape gets submitted to america’s funniest home videos but doesn’t win, just gets used during their weekly montage of nut-shots.
I hope Rick Santorum gets backstage passes to his favourite band and the band mistakenly thinks he’s Romney and he goes along with it. Then the band proceeds to make jokes about Santorum without Santorum actually saying who he really is.
i hope Rick Santorum dies on his first click every time he plays Minesweeper.
6 tags
Movies
I hope Rick Santorum tries to rent House on Haunted Hill but when he gets home realizes he accidentally got the crappy remake instead of the original Vincent Price version. I hope Rick Santorum tells his friends that he’s finally going to watch Citizen Kane for the first time and they immediately tell him what “Rosebud” means. I hope Rick Santorum rents “Angels in...
I hope a bee flies into Rick Santorum’s shirt and stings his boob and he has to spend weeks either wearing crew necks or risk people laughing and pointing at his giant boob-pimple.
I hope Rick Santorum has something incredibly amazing happen to him, so he posts it as his facebook status, but only one person comments and all they write is “pix or it didn’t happen.”
1 tag
Anonymous asked: Don't be an ass and say pix or it didn't happen. Just ask for pix. loser
10 tags
I hope Rick Santorum goes to visit his computer illiterate parents and is forced to use Internet Explorer.
I hope that when Rick Santorum takes his food out of the microwave, it’s cold on one side and hot on the other.
Santorum: the worst around.
I hope Rick Santorum moves to Los Angeles with his mom, only to be bullied by the Cobra Kai for being the new kid at school. Then Pat Morita spends six weeks getting him in shape to face his bullies at the All Valley Tournament, only for Johnny to sweep his leg, break it, and force Rick to surrender in the final round.
I hope Rick Santorum buys a wireless mouse for his laptop and the scroll wheel starts malfunctioning after a week so that when he tries to scroll down, the page jumps up and down multiple times before finally going back to the very top.
Solitaire
I hope Rick Santorum is playing solitaire, and he’s sure he’s about to win, but one of the aces is stuck under other cards, and he wastes 15 minutes shuffling the cards back and forth to other piles to try to free it, but fails, and then feels like a loser for actually playing solitaire.
Northern Virginia
I hope Rick Santorum is sitting with his friends in his room trying to decide what they’re going to do today, then he realizes that he lives in Northern Virginia and that there is absolutely nothing to do.
I hope Rick Santorum has another kid and wants to name it Blue Ivy Santorum, but can’t because Beyoncé and Jay-Z copyrighted the name.
I hope Rick Santorum thinks he’s doing really well in Tetris Battle, and when the two minutes is up, finds out he came in 6th.
1 tag
frigidlondonair-deactivated2012 asked: I would just like to proudly inform you that your blog was featured in my school newspaper this month. I opened it up and saw the url and was like "hell yes!"
5 tags
holmes-comma-sherlock:
ihopericksantorum:
I hope Rick Santorum wins the Mega Millions and loses the ticket.
And then Barack Obama walks out of a coffee shop and finds that ticket on the ground.
1 tag
Anonymous asked: A screenshot of one of your posts got posted to my facebook, where I have a lot of conservative friends. This one guy, who supports Santorum, is actually defending the post by saying you probably support Santorum and Jesus (I don't even know, okay?) and were just making a joke.
I hope Rick Santorum wins the Mega Millions and loses the ticket.
Internet Spam
I hope Rick Santorum feels bad for a Nigerian Prince and gives him his social security number.
9 tags
I hope Rick Santorum is playing World of Warcraft and gets kicked from his dungeon group for not doing enough damage.
5 tags
thewoman-adler:
ihopericksantorum:
I hope someone pees on all the things Rick Santorum loves.
I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE
Oh man, he’s going to be pissed. Urine a lot of trouble.
I hope someone pees on all the things Rick Santorum loves.
7 tags
trevorfloyd asked: I don't like Santorum and I'll choose to believe he was about to say something racist in that video, but deep deep down I know he was probably about to say the word "negotiator" (anti-war government negotiator), as in Obama negotiates with terrorists, etc., and just stumbled at a very unfortunate time. Do you not think that's possible?
I hope that when Rock Santorum he pours coke, it froths over ever so slightly, but still enough for him to clean it up
1 tag
inluminatus asked: I showed this blog to my dad and now I'm pretty sure he literally lurks the shit out of it when he feels like the country sucks which is kind of all the time. Also he's a Christian minister. and yeah. Just so you're aware.
9 tags
wokkythehobnob asked: You realise that no one can PROVE that Santorum was going to say "Nigger"? Fine, it looks pretty damn likely, but you can't present it as fact, because it's not. He never finished whatever he was saying, so it is IMPOSSIBLE to know for sure. I don't like Santorum at all, but you can't present speculation as fact, no matter how likely it seems.
8 tags
Watchihopericksantorum:
“We know the candidate Barack Obama what he was like, the anti-war goverment nigg—the uh—…” Wow.
For those of you denying that he said “n_gger,” please wake up and face reality. He has a history of saying racially provocative things. Rick Santorum is a bigot, this gaffe only further proves it. He didn’t say “negative” or...
2 tags
I just showed my dad the ihopericksantorum blog.
grandmanoiseverything:
It is safe to say that he loved it.
Awesome!
