I hope Rick Santorum scores a 1 on his World History AP Exam. It’s funny because I’m sure he actually would.

I hope that Rick Santorum gets put into Slytherin even though he asked the Sorting Hat not to.

I hope Rick Santorum tries to conquer the world but gets beaten up by the Hulk.

I hope Rick Santorum is giving a speech and the fire alarm goes off, but he tells everyone to stay calm and seated because there’s no fire. But the fire marshal tells everyone there IS a fire and he gets fined for telling everyone not to evacuate.

I hope half of Rick Santorum’s followers are on tumblrdatinggame(.)com

I hope Rick Santorum loses his DVD of The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride, and has to watch it online with really slow internet.

I hope Rick Santorum has to listen to Patrick’s real parents saying “where’s Patrick?” all day.

I hope Rick Santorum accidentally changes his relationship status on facebook to “in a relationship”, but he isn’t so he has to change it back to “single” and everyone comments and likes the status, so he has to explain that it was an accident and he was never in a relationship.

I hope Rick Santorum gets all comfortable in bed only to realize he has to pee.